


Jacob's Conditions

by CalamityBrain



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: BDSM, Brainwashing, Conditioning, Confinement, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Neutral Deputy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Pup Rook, Starvation, submissive Deputy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-06-11 19:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15323079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityBrain/pseuds/CalamityBrain
Summary: Captured by the Eldest Seed, starved, brainwashed, and trained to obey; our favorite Rook submits to survive. At least at first it's to survive. Jacob has a way of making you need this, doesn't he?





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Jacob had the rook captured they were woken up by nearby screaming, they were walking, being led? Something hurt…everything hurt. Then being strapped in a chair, and Pratt’s voice. “You shouldn’t of come for me, you should have run.” Rook wasn’t sure how long the videos played. Jacob Seed was talking about the world being weak. The lives of the few outweighing the lives of the many. Rook was unstrapped and the song began.  
Move.  
Train.  
Hunt.  
Rook grabbed the first gun, they were confused, for a moment they stood there watching the other two people react. They were all waking up now, looking for weapons.  
“Cull the Herd.”  
Rook shot the forms in front of them, still hazy and terrified at the action until the bodies just disappeared. That wasn’t so bad. Rook could do this. It seemed familiar, but Rook couldn’t pull up any memories, the bliss in their system was still running strong. Rook moved, hunting, shooting. Have I done this before?  
“Excellent.” Jacob sounded pleased. Encouraged by this, Rook kept moving at a steady pace. The music playing somewhere in the background, a reminder to watch the time, keep moving and always hunt. A few missed shots and Rook winced when they heard Jacob admonish them. “Disappointing. You can do better.” The deputy’s mind was washed with Bliss, and they didn’t think to question anything beyond what was being told to them. If Jacob said they could do better than they needed to do better.  
After all the praise, doing well, hearing that Jacob was disappointed was suddenly very demoralizing. The deputy flinched at the tone shift in Jacob’s voice. Rook kept moving, focused trying to improve training over and over for hours. Better and better until…  
“Perfect.”  
It had become an obsession. Somewhere the bliss haze had worn down and the simple need of doing this right, doing better had become the most important thing. Suddenly with the task at hand complete Rook was confused again. Before they could begin to question or analyze a sharp pain blossomed in their neck for just a moment before Rook lost conciseness.  
The deputy woke up somewhere, there were voices. They found out later the whitetails had rescued them, though they couldn’t remember where they were, their mind was a haze of music and red lines. Jacobs men had killed the militia here, No survivors. Just Rook. Despite Tammy’s negative reaction Eli trusted the rook and allowed them free reign to leave and enter the Wolf’s Den whenever they wanted.  
Eli wanted the deputy to stay and help but Rook gave an excuse, names of a few people still trapped in the Holland Valley. They left the Whitetail Mountains. Rook liberated outposts in John’s and Faith’s regions for the next two weeks. Finding as many ways to be occupied away from the Whitetail Mountains as possible. They were not stupid, they knew they would have to face Jacob again eventually, but they wanted a chance to clear their head. Just not today, maybe tomorrow. They sent arms, cash and food to Eli in the Wolf’s Den in the meanwhile, not able to fight with them just yet.  
Eventually though Rook sighed and headed west from the trailer park in John’s region and towards the bridge that crossed the river into the Whitetails. Into Jacob Seed’s territory. As soon as the bridge was crossed they immediately headed into the woods. Rook was not getting caught by that man again. There was a quick sound and a sudden pain in the deputy’s leg. The Hunter’s form came into view just before Rook’s vision went black. Fuck.  
Rook woke up hungry in the cage again, dirty with new bruises and wounds, sore muscles and a sore right hand. Groaning the deputy looked around, the cage was outside and it was very dark out. The deputy closed their eyes and let sleep overtake them again. They could only fall asleep minutes at a time. There was just beginning to be a light in the sky.  
Suddenly there was noise over the loud speaker, loud and painful to the ears. Rook covered their ears after a moment but the awful noise lasted over an hour. When it cut out and Jacob’s voice began repeating cultists messages over and over, Rook, with eyes closed whispered a prayer of thanks as their headache began to recede slowly.  
There was no food or water given in the morning, and the caged prisoners were ignored or punished and made to be quiet with kicks and beatings. They did have buckets they were expected to use for waste, and the prisoners themselves were hosed off at least once a day usually at the same time their buckets were changed. Other than the guards who did not speak near the cages, nothing happened. The rook choice to stay as quiet as possible and observe. It was boring, Rook was hungry and thirsty and miserable. At least when the song played and the training began the deputy was training. Time would just pass, but right now it crawled forward. Training was easier. No thinking. Time just passed, and work was done.  
It was another sweltering day and the sun had been in the sky for a while before there was a sudden lack of noise from the speakers, and the sound of a conversation and boots on gravel getting closer to the cages. “Yes Sir” Pratt’s voice was small and meek sounding. He kept his head down as he followed just behind Jacob.  
“Over there Peaches.” Jacob pointed to the water spigot sticking out of the ground and Pratt walked over and filled several large shallow bowls with water. When they were full he placed them near Jacob’s feet. Jacob turned and surveyed the cages. Rook took a small step back when under the gaze of the Eldest Seed but managed to maintain eye contact while enduring Jacob’s gaze.  
“Let’s see what you are willing to do to survive.” Jacob addressed the crowd. “You have three choices right now, either stay in your cage because you know you can’t be a good pup. Be a good pup and stay on your hands and knees while drinking my water. Or you can try to run or fight and be a bad dog. If you are a bad dog, I will kill you and you’ll be meat for the wolves. Open the doors Peaches.”  
Pratt immediately began opening the doors to the cages, one by one. No one moved right away until the cage just before Rooks. One of the men in that cage bolted out of the cage towards the buildings behind Jacob. The eldest brother’s motions were so fluid it almost seemed casual. The knife jutted out of the runner’s mouth from the back of his neck and he fell. Pratt collected and cleaned the knife while a few cultist removed the body.  
“I wouldn’t lie to you about what will kill you pups. Now…if at least one of you doesn’t crawl out here to these water bowls I so thoughtfully prepared I am going to be disappointed.” Rook, and most of the other prisoners began moving forward immediately. Not wanting to know what disappointed looked like on the grizzly bear of a man. Only a handful of prisoners stayed in the cages, while a dozen or so crawled out. In the back of the deputy’s mind the word “disappointed” echoed painfully. They needed to do better, they knew they could.  
Rook and the others crawled forward to the water bowls on the ground in front them. Managing not to flinch when a flash of pain blossomed suddenly in their sprained right wrist. The prisoners all began to drink but an admonishing tone came from above. “Here I do a nice thing for you pups, and none of you wait until I give you permission.” The large man towered above them and crossed his arm, kicking one of the water bowls so it flipped over creating a dark puddle around it on the gravel. “I am disappointed. You will do better.” Jacob pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket, and Rooks vision splashed with red. The song was playing again.  
Rook woke up in a hallway, or a tunnel, the room was broken, and the deputy was confused, but there was a large enough rock on the table in front of them, and two targets made themselves known moments after they saw the gun. The deputy had to move. This was the time to train and hunt, everything else faded away. Rook had been here before and knew their purpose here. This time was much easier than last time, so much more focused on the targets.  
One by one bodies went down, Rook let them run at them, and smashed into their heads with the rock, until they found a heavy board, sturdy enough to create a loud cracking sound on the moving targets in front of them. “Keep moving.” Rook had been lingering behind a wall, for a moment wondering why they were running forward when they could try the other direction. The deputy jumped and followed the instructions. Confused, and losing their train of thought, much easier to follow orders than to think of a plan.  
“Train.”  
“Hunt.”  
“Sacrifice.”  
There was a rifle on a box in front of them and Rook snatched it up on their way thought the door. “Go! Train! Kill! Sacrifice!!!”  
Rook focused, surveying their environment, taking in any possible target and taking out any confirmed with the rifle. “Sacrifice the weak,” the Deputy whispered to themselves... Every target went down with swift precision, Rook was getting so much better. These targets were hidden well, but Rook was sure they found every one, even so they remained alert and kept moving.  
“Well done.”  
The music faded and Rook found themselves walking towards a greenlit door. The eldest Seed standing in the room on the other side. Pleased Jacob extended his hand expectantly and Rook surrendered their gun. Far too lost in the high of a successful, blissful training session to think. It was so much easier to be told what to do.  
Rook woke up to the blaring noise from the speakers again. They assumed it was the next morning, and for the next hour or so they covered their ears waiting for Jacob’s mantras to play. Reflexively rubbing at their wrist, Rook was surprised to notice it didn’t seem to have any pain or discomfort. How long ago did they sprain it? How long had they been here?  
Today the sound from the speakers was one of Joseph’s sermons. The deputy never thought that one of that lunatic’s sermons would ever be a welcome sound, but his voice was calm and soothing. Compared to the wretched noise from before, it was a godsend. It was when the noise subsided, and the sun was high enough in the sky that the deputy noticed who had been culled.  
Every cage had two or three bodies, and a few bruised and bleeding surviving prisoners. Cultists were beginning to take the bodies out of sight. Rook’s cell mates were all dead, heads bashed in. The deputy looked down at their shirt was blood stained and their wrists and hands bruised and scratched. Defensive wounds. Sacrifice the weak. The bodies were removed and Rooks head swam, suddenly dizzy. Think about something else.  
Rook turned away, leaning against the bars the thirst was overwhelming, and they were willing to work very hard to earn their water. Crawling and waiting for permission did not seem so bad compared to the thirst that was forming and the hunger gnawing at their stomach. Today Jacob allowed Pratt to open the cages one by one, and each prisoner crawled out to the bowls and waited. Rook kept their head down but away from the bowls, just as eager as any of the others to drink and just as obediently awaiting permission.  
Jacob turned to one of the prisoners and snapped his fingers. “Sit up, paws up, begging position.” For a moment Rook thought the other was being disobedient, and Rook panicked worrying that it would ruin their chances at drinking, but the prisoner overcame whatever internal conflict that might have been occurring and complied.  
“See, very good.” Jacob said it warmly smiling as he snapped his fingers and pointed to the bowl. “You may.” Jacob went to each captive in turn until everyone was allowed to drink, except the deputy. Rook dutifully sat awaiting any order or indication to move from Jacob but none came. After a while he ordered them all back into their cages, and Rook could only stare at their still filled bowl of water from behind their bars.  
The next day the sun was high, and Jacob came into the yard again Rook was dizzy and worried. Not wanting to get themselves killed, but desperate for water and at this point some food, any food. Nothing seemed too great a task to perform. Whatever Jacob asked of them, Rook would carry out, if only for a small cup of water. They shuddered as a small whine escaped their throat when the eldest seed moved towards the cages.  
Pratt set out the bowls and filled them, there were not as many needed today. Rook’s cage was opened first, and Jacob pat his thigh and whistled. The deputy didn’t hesitate. They crawled out and straight over to Jacob. The deputy was still very dizzy, and when they got to Jacob’s legs they didn’t quite stop. They fell forward, weakly leaning against the large man’s legs for support before pulling back, trying to shake it off. “I’m sorry Sir.” Rook said before they could stop themselves, suddenly worried they were not allowed to speak.  
Large boots kicked the deputy back, though not as roughly as they had been expecting. Rook fell backwards and scrambled back to their hands and knees but suffered no further injury from the kick. Instinctively they put their head forward on the ground just in front of Jacob’s boot. They were painfully surprised when the rubber bottom of that boot was suddenly pressing their head down, into the gravel.  
“Say it again.”  
“I’m Sorry Sir.” Deputy gasped out, the gravel was pressing into their forehead and the shoe was grinding into the back of their head slightly.  
“Again.”  
“I’m Sorry Sir.”  
“You’re weak.”  
“Sir, I….” Rook cried out as the pressure from the boot increased suddenly and painfully, grinding and pressing their head into the ground.  
“I said you are weak!” Jacob shouted, removing some of the pressure for the moment.  
“I am weak. Much weaker than you Sir.” Jacobs boot stopped grinding but the pressure was still painful. “I promise I am worth the time you’re spending on me Sir. I am weaker than you Sir.” Rook repeated themselves a few times before Jacob lifted his boot from their head. “You are stronger!”  
“Good.” Jacob snapped his fingers and pointed to the water bowl. “You may.” Rook tried to drink the water quickly, but Jacobs hand in their hair yanked them out of the bowl. “Drink slowly, appreciate every drop you’re given, pup.” Head down, Rook drank slowly from the bowl, taking their time. Somewhere in the back of their mind they registered that this might be another way to humiliate them, by making them take their time drinking at Jacobs feet. They couldn’t figure out why that mattered though not compared to the water that came from this.  
Jacob lectured them on weakness, sacrifice, and the importance of culling the herd, and allowed the others to drink. This time no one stayed behind, and everyone waited for permission to begin. Rook was taking breaths in between lapped up gulps so as not to displease Jacob. When the bowl was empty the deputy simply pulled their head out of the bowl and waited keeping themselves as low as possible. They were surprised when Jacobs military boot nudged their head up and at first, they thought Jacob wanted them to lift their head but when they did Jacob warningly growled, “Keep your head down.”  
Rook put their head on the toe of Jacobs boot, which seemed to satisfy Jacob for the time being. “When your head is on my boot you do not do anything but stay right there until I command you to do otherwise.” Jacob lifted his foot and swing it left and right and Rook kept their forehead pressed against his shoe the entire time. “Excellent. Heel” Jacob paced back and forth, while the deputy kept up as best as possible.  
Rooks entire day consisted of focusing on staying right at Jacobs heel, at first they tried to focus on what Jacob was telling the others but the only time they got more than a few inches away from Jacobs foot their hand was painfully stepped on. The deputy was diligent on keeping their head as close to Jacobs boot. A few hours went by before a cultist came from the building and reported to Jacob.  
“Phone call for you Sir, it is John Seed.” Jacob nodded.  
“Keep these ones running through their paces today. Lock them up when their time is up.” Jacob turned and walked toward the large building Rook kept up the pace, unsure if they were supposed to stay in the area with the cages or follow. Jacob had told them that they do not do anything else unless commanded to by himself. Rook decided obeying the only orders they were given was most likely the best option. Jacob was fully aware of Rook at their heels, and had not stopped them while they walked to the building and into the doors. Someone stepped ahead and held the doors open for them, making sure there was enough room for both Jacob and Rook both.  
They walked inside and up to a pair of stairs where Jacob grabbed Rooks scalp and pulled their head up. “Deputy, crawl down the stairs behind Pratt. I am not going to trip over that face of yours.” Rook moved behind the other set of legs, realizing only now that it was Pratt who was dutifully following them, and holding the door for them. So Jacob Seed had two out of three deputy’s at his beck and call and quite literally at his feet. They should have turned around, never stepped into that helicopter, and never came. Both deputy’s followed Jacob down the stairs.  
Joseph snapped and pointed to a corner, neither deputy needed clarification, in a moment they were both obediently settled into the corner. Jacob went inside the room but a moment later came out. “Pratt, put these on the ground for my pet.” He handed his boots to Staci and Jacob went back inside the room. Pratt sighed and put the boots down next to Rooks head.  
“Please.” Pratt whined. “You’re strong enough, just do what he wants.” Rook leaned forward and placed their head on the toes of Joseph’s boots. The deputy just wanted more water, they just had to be good long enough to earn more water and a little food. Then they could finally think.  
Time creeped at a boring pace and the deputy was weak enough that they began to lull into sleep. Waking up to a chuckle, and someone gently petting their head, Rook didn’t think about it as they buried their head further between the two boots, trying to rest a bit longer. Making a small noise of protest.  
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Slowly the reality of the situation hit home, and the deputy lifted their head a bit, unsure of what to do, so they nuzzled into their captor’s hand. Jacob pulled something rectangular and plastic out of his pocket. He peeled open the plastic and dumped mostly broken bits of cracker onto his palm. Rook focused intently on Jacob, completely understanding that this might be an opportunity to earn some food.  
“What would you do to be allowed this food, pup? Just for this little bite, is there anything you think you wouldn’t do?” Jacob held out the food, knowing the deputy wouldn’t dare touch it without permission, even as hungry as they were.  
“I’d like to think that right now I’d do anything Sir.” Jacob let out another small chuckle.  
“You’d like to think you’d do anything if I asked it? Is that right?”  
“Yes.”  
“Why?” Jacob asked abruptly. Jacob was pulling back suddenly, the hand with food moving back as well. A small space but it seemed infinite to Rook.  
“I..nee…” Rook tried to think of the best way to word this. It was hard, they focused on being respectful, they needed this food, their stomach ached, and they couldn’t afford to lose this chance. “I’m getting weak without food. I need to be strong. You’re making me strong. If I listen to you I’ll become strong. I need to...do what you say-mm” Jacob shoved the cracker into Rook’s mouth, rewarding that last thought as soon as it was expressed. They didn’t even have enough pride to pull away, lapping at the cracker right out of Jacobs fingers and resting their head in his palm while they chewed.  
When Rook uttered a thank you Jacob’s finger suddenly prodded at their lips, entering their mouth. Not wanting to seem resistant, or aggressive in any way Rook stilled and relaxed their jaw, opening when the large man’s finger pushed in further, rubbing the tip across the deputy’s tongue and grabbing the bottom teeth suddenly, pressing down. It hurt and Rook’s head went down with it, suddenly realizing exactly how much weaker they were than the hardened veteran in front of them.  
“Suck.”  
Instantly the deputy began suckling at the finger in their mouth, though between the cracker and the dehydration there was not a lot of drool. When Jacob pulled his finger out he held out his hand and was handed a flask by Pratt. Jacob unscrewed the cap and held Rook’s head back with his free hand. With his other hand he lifted the flask to the deputy’s lips and allowed them to drink. The water was cool and Rook drank every drop given.  
As difficult as it was, the rook managed not to cling to the flask as it was pulled away, still with water sloshing inside. Pratt gathered the boots from the floor and set them like in offering in front of Jacob, who stepped into them and allowed Pratt to tie the laces. Jacob reached down and rustled a hand through Pratts hair. “Very good Peaches.”  
Jacob stepped around Pratt and Rook letting out a whistle as he walked down the hall. The two obediently following, Pratt occasionally stepping forward to open doors. Jacob hummed as they continued down the hallways and one small set of stairs. The familiar tune was soothing Rook, and that was worrying.  
Jacob brought them into a room with a cold floor of shiny clean tiles that smelled of baked bread, garlic, spices and meat. Rooks stomach made a loud noise and the eldest Seed chuckled. “Is that so?” He said looking down at the deputy whose eyes remained low and posture submissive. “Pup look at me now.”  
A surprised Rook glanced up at the eldest Seed for a moment, meeting his eyes before flinching, glancing back down, and then quickly up again. Rook was nervous but seemed to be trying to obey. “I’ll let you have some food if you clean up. Would you like to clean the dishes for me, pup?” The dishes in question were in a large plastic bin on the counter. There were quite a few of them, but it wasn’t a daunting task. Rook was more than glad to be given a chance to earn food.  
“Yes Sir” The deputy stated earnestly.  
The eldest Seed pointed to the dishrag on the counter and simply stated “You may.” Before leaning against the wall of the kitchen. The deputy stood up and began by filling the leftmost sink with hot water and soap. They began washing the dishes and putting them in the right side of the sink before eventually rinsing them and placing them in the drying rack. The deputy did this for a while before getting through all the big dishes and making their way to the bottom of the bin. There were a few forks and spoon and one large knife.  
Rook eyed the knife, debating their chances. They carefully and slowly washed every other utensil wanting desperately to be brave enough and feel strong enough to overpower the man leaning on the wall behind them. They were not strong enough yet. Hungry and far to tired from everything, this was not the time. The deputy reached slowly for the knife, washing it, testing its sharpness. Rook let out a slight hiss when the knife easily slid between the layers of their skin. A small red line welling up from the spot. The deputy rewashed the knife and put it in the drying rack after rinsing it.  
“You made the right choice pup.” The voice caused the deputy to jump slightly before they turned around to face the bear of a man behind them. They didn’t look Jacob in the eyes, already knowing that the else Seed was completely aware of their thoughts. The deputy glanced over at Pratt, ever obedient, arms tucked in and head down, standing in the corner. Is that what they both looked like now.  
When Jacob snapped his fingers the deputy’s eyes went to his face. They took a deep breath and retained eye contact. Neither advancing nor backing away, and when Jacob reached forward and grabbed their chin, they remained still, moving only when Jacob move them. Parting their lips as the large man’s finger prodded but waiting, looking at the eldest Seed for direction. “Suck.”  
Rook began to suck on the finger, closing their eyes and focusing only on the task at hand. Jacob must have reached up because they felt a hand on their head, in their hair, scratching gently at their scalp. Suddenly their jaw was being pressed down firmly just behind their lower teeth. The hand on their head was gripping tight and pressing down as well. It hurt, Rook lowered themselves to their knees and the pressure relaxed some. When the finger was pulled out of their mouth, they gasped.  
Jacob stepped over to the refrigerator and pulled out a mason jar. They poured the contents into a bowl and set it on the floor in front of the Rook. Who waited, looking into the bowl of tannish liquid. “You’ve been hungry for too long to start with too much solid food. Drink the broth.” Rook didn’t hesitate, they lapped up the cold chicken broth, trying to drink slowly like they were trained to do.  
Their head swam. They must have been dizzier from hunger than they thought because they were suddenly tired, sluggish, and nauseous. “You want more food than that, you’ll have to fend for yourself.” It was strange the slow way Jacob was suddenly speaking. Right before everything went black Rook began to wonder if they were falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The deputy learns good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior will not be tolerated.

Rook woke up at night, someone was walking near their feet. “This one?”  
“No.” The response was sharp. “No, this one.”  
“Hmm, Don’t seem very worthy…?” He began to pick up the deputy.  
“It is not for us to judge, deliver them unto the waters. The cleansing begins tonight.” Rook struggled to remain conscious but faded again.  
The voice was muffled, and Rook’s mouth was covered. “We must atone,” John’s voice rang clearly when the deputy’s head was finally pulled above water. “For only then may we stand in the light of God and walk through his gates unto Eden.” John put his hand out as Rook was being led past him. “Not this one.” John handed the book over to the cultist. “This one’s not clean.” John pushed the deputy under the water again.  
Rook struggled to not breath in the water, and gasped and choked when John pulled them out again. His face was not pleased. “Shhhhhh” Rook began to shake, but another voice cut into the air.  
“You mock the cleansing John?” A small mixture of shame and fear flashed across John’s face. He tried to defend himself but Joseph would not let him speak. “You have to love them John. Do not let your sin prevent that.” He let the words sit for a moment. “Bring that one to me.” The walk through the water seemed slow, it felt like it took a very long time and the air was swimming with lights. There was a barrel nearby, releasing something into the baptismal water. The deputy felt like that detail should be filed away somewhere, it was supposed to mean something.  
Father’s form remained in front of them, patient and waiting with arms outstretched. There was a light that shined all around him, and he just seemed in that moment, the most beautiful thing Rook had ever seen. The deputy was gently nudged forward, and they began to walk toward Father, happy to be allowed closer. When Rook reached him, Father’s hands clasped their shoulders like family as he leaned his head toward the deputy to speak. Always maintaining eye contact as he spoke, to let the deputy know that in this moment. Their conversation was the most important conversation that could be had in this world. That Rook was the only thing that mattered, and conveying these truths onto Rook was the most important thing to Father. Rook was cherished by this man, they could tell in the way that Father looked at them.  
“Despite all you have done, you are not beyond salvation. You’re not here by accident or by chance. You are here by the grace of God. You’ve been given a gift. Now it remains to be seen whether you chose to embrace it…” Joseph looked away, a split second of sadness was there and gone, “or cast it aside.” Father turned to John and held him close, touching his head to his little brother lovingly. “This one shall reach the Atonement. Or the gates of Eden shall be shut to you John.”  
“Yes Joseph.” John stayed silent for a moment after his older brother walked away. Before turning to the deputy. “You will confess. Every sin you’ve ever committed no matter how petty, no matter how small. I will pull from you. Then we’ll see if you’re worthy of atonement.” John looked intense, then Rook was pushed toward a bright light. It was too bright, and everything seemed to be engulfed in it before the deputy lost consciousness.  
The deputy was tied up in the back of a van. They had been in it for a while, or was that a different van? Their head was still fuzzy. The two people tied up along with Rook were saying something that angered the cultist, he used the butt of his rifle to hit the woman across from Rook. All at once the van shook, and twisted, things flew into the air around them and Rook hit the roof of the van hard. The deputy tried to climb out, but the cultist grabbed their ankle, angrily trying to pull them back into the wreck. The head of the cultist split suddenly in one spot, Pastor Jerome put his gun back into his Bible and pulled the deputy out of the wreckage.  
Rook spent a day and a half resting and recovering with Pastor Jerome at Falls End. They ate softer foods like broth at first then yogurt, eventually toast and noodle soup. Jacob was right, the deputy wasn’t ready for solid foods right away. He never lied about those kinds of things. Probably just a tactic to make the deputy listen and trust in what Jacob had to say. It wasn’t going to work, Rook just needed to spend some time away, finding themselves and overcoming internal shit. Or whatever the Pastor had said.  
The deputy thanked the Pastor for the care declining the invitation to stay longer before moving to Nick Rye’s hanger for a day, and then hiding from an angry bull in a haystack at the large cattle farm. It wasn’t intentional, the deputy didn’t like to stick to the roads, so they walked through a field after leaving Nick’s place. Apparently, this particular bull decided that the deputy was an invader and began his stupid charging. The fucking bull lost track of Rook when they jumped into the hay but was still close, stamping and snorting angrily, seeking out the invader. Bored, Rook napped in and the hay for a while, waking up a few hours later, the bull finally nowhere to be heard nor seen after a quick investigation from under the hay.  
While hunting for game Rook stayed in a few of the lookout towers, some of them had sleeping bags and even a bit of food. The radio stayed turned off for a couple of days, the deputy needing to stay away from people that wanted to ask for favors, beg for help or order them on a mission. They were tracking deer in the woods just northwest of a pig farm that was until recently, overrun with cultist. Liberating the post was fulfilling, hunting the deer was losing its appeal, especially after sniping so many cultists. What was especially satisfying was the silent deadly takedowns with their hunting knife. These cultists were weak.  
There were times when the deputy found these thoughts to be more than a little disturbing. They sat trying to unscramble the images in their head of blood and gore. Yearning to train and to hunt. Those moments were so clear. There was nothing, no thoughts, no emotions or hesitations to muddy their mind. No thoughts just keep moving. Just train. Hunt. Sacrifice. When Jacob took command, everything was simple, productive and effective.  
Lost in thinking of ways to stop thinking of Jacob Seed, Rook was startled when their radio crackled to life and John Seed’s voice interrupted Rook’s thoughts.  
“Sin is pervasive, it drives us to do unspeakable acts. I know the feelings that drives you. I know them intimately, but I can help you Deputy.” John was promising to wash away Rook’s sins and cleanse their soul. When John spoke of it being difficult and painful Rook snorted. Nothing was going to be more difficult than what Rook had to be while under Jacob, and nothing was more painful when Rook fought against their conditioning and need to obey Jacob. To be stronger for Jacob.  
John continued, oblivious to the deputy’s wondering thoughts. “My people will come for you. They will bring you to me. Don’t fight it. Because the harder you resist, well… The harder we’ll have to scrub your soul.” Rook could hear John’s smile in the last sentence. John liked to be cruel, or so the stories go.  
Another moment went by before Dutch’s voice came over the radio. “Holy shit kid. You pissed in John’s cornflakes, he’s going to be throwing everything he’s got after you, so keep your head on a swivel. Dutch out.”  
The deputy was suddenly excited, John’s best people were on their way. Be hunted or hunt. Train. Sacrifice. Leaving the safety of the woods, Rook traveled along the road, and it wasn’t long before they heard a rumble from behind. Glancing back Rook saw a large white truck on its way, and a sniper just leaning out a window taking aim.  
Rook jumped to the side of the road and dropped into the dirt. Rolling backward behind a fence post to get cover in the tall grass and bushes. They heard shots then shouting as the sound of the truck became louder. Rook took the rifle off their back and began to aim at the truck, which was slowing down the closer it got. When they got out Rook could hear them snap at each other.  
“Use the bliss bullets you idiot. This one needs to be brought in alive.”  
“I know what I am doing, next time drive where I tell you!”  
There were only the two of them, and the deputy aimed at the driver first. They slumped over the steering wheel and the truck kept moving forward. The deputy moved clear of the trucks path, trying to keep behind the bushes and grass. The other one of John’s men had opened the door and jumped, but he landed on and twisted his ankle letting out a yelp like a coyote. Weak. As the truck crashed into the fence the rook moved forward and shot the cultist before they had even tried to get up. If those were John’s best men he really should cull his flock a bit more carefully. The white truck had kept going but slowed to a stop soon after hitting the fence.  
The deputy continued walking down the road, in the open. It did not seem to take long for two more vehicles to come down the road. Everyone was after John’s most wanted. Rook was ready, ducking behind another bush before they got too close and sending out a spray of fire at the truck in the lead. It swerved to the side as one of the wheels went. The van behind was not following too close and had enough time to maneuver out of the way.  
The deputy managed to hit the driver first again, not good enough aim to kill them, but it did get the van to jolt to the side suddenly. However, the driver of this van was much more determined to get to the deputy. Ignoring their bleeding shoulder, they managed to get a lot closer and turn the van so they were behind cover when they got out. Both the driver and the passenger scrambled out the driver’s side and shot around the van, bliss bullets whizzing past the deputy’s head. These men were better than the last group of weak foot soldiers. Good.  
Rook angrily threw down the rifle when it was out of bullets and grabbed their pistol. The men in the truck were finally getting out and into position so Rook focused on them. Taking a bit more time to aim now that they were down to their pistol, well that and their bow but the bow was not going to do much in this fight. The deputy managed to shoot one in the hand. The target let out a guttural yell, tossing their gun and clutched their hand to their chest. The back of the van opened and more of John’s people jumped out, guns ready heading towards Rook together.  
The deputy leapt back, trying to maneuver away from the new hunters and the incoming fire. They scrambled back through the dirt, grass and behind the bushes trying to hit the cultists as they were moving. The sound of another engine roared in the distance, getting louder in between the rounds of gun fire. There were a few more shots from both sides, a branch to the left of Rook’s knee splintered suddenly. The cultists were not using bliss bullets anymore.   
The deputy was panting, coughing in the dust around them. Rook found cover while the hunters stopped to reload their rifles. Gunfire from the oncoming car. The deputy saw the remainder of John’s hunting party scramble as the jeep drove straight at them. Rook took advantage of the chaos and got two of them While the new person jumped out of her jeep and shot at the remanding onehanded cultist, but he took off running and she didn’t chase him. Opting instead to check on the deputy.  
Rook wasn’t bleeding, but they were sore all over, most likely from the scramble. Afterward the woman, Renee gave the deputy a ride back to Falls End. Just as Renee’s jeep drove off the deputy’s radio crackled to life. John Seed’s angry voice coming over the main channel.  
“Deputy you’ve had your fun, but all sinners must confess. This is the will of the Father. My men are coming for you. I’ll see you soon.” John sounded very irate, and no sooner had the youngest Seed ceased did the deputy get another message, this time from Dutch. The familiar gravelly voice coming over the radio.  
“John is fucking determined to sink his hooks into you deputy Now I know you got away by the skin of your teeth last time but don’t underestimate this bastard.”  
The deputy stayed in town a few hours, trying to feel normal but it wasn’t taking. There was always this nagging feeling at the back of their teeth. They needed to be doing something productive, something useful like training or hunting, not hiding from John Seed. They were getting restless, and frustrated but they were forming a plan. They grabbed a few things to fill their kit with, ammo, some fishing supplies, a small metal pan, jerky, some dried cooking herbs and a bag of salt.  
Rook waited until 3 am to sneak out of town, most people were sleeping soundly by then and it was still dark. They headed north, into Faith’s region and close to the bridge that crossed into Jacob’s territory. The deputy had seen what looked like an abandoned house there before, there was a covered rack of canoes. Rook had been thinking about the best way to sneak into Jacob’s region undetected. They found the house, “Vasquez” was written in small fading letters on the mailbox. The house looked abandoned, there were three plastic pink flamingoes decorating the front yard and there was covered canoe rack out back.  
The deputy carefully went into the residence, checking every room before finding a safe space away from the windows to change their clothing. Tossing their old set under a bed and checking the house for useful items. Rook grabbed a small plastic cooler, an extra fishing rod, and a dusty baseball cap before going outside. They pulled out their flashlight and found a few canoes under the plastic wrap. Taking one out and retying the wrap to protect the other canoes, the rook carried to the edge of the little dock. There was already a little yellow jet ski tied to the dock. Rook would have loved the speed, but stealth was key. Besides, it didn’t look out of shape, Rook bet its owner was close by, or only recently kidnapped by the cult. Someone would come along eventually and claim it before the river did.  
They set up the canoe and took off north, into the waterway between the islands housing Dutch’s bunker and Joseph’s compound, and then finally west towards what looked like small islands, that had some fishing camps near the shores. Perfect. If anyone saw them, they’d look like another weary fisher, trying to catch a meal. Rook pulled up on shore near the tail end of a wrecked sea plane. There was a little salvager’s camp nearby with a tent and some chairs on the side of the island facing the water. On the opposite side of the island was another tent with a spot for a campfire, a wire grill over it for cooking. It looked regularly used and the area around it was clean and taken care of, only some beer bottles collected in one spot, but no broken glass or trash littering the area.  
The deputy stayed and fished in the area, cooking and eating their catch on the wire grill, nobody approached. They slept after their lunch until well past midnight. Jumping at every small sound but doing their best to rest. When it was finally dark they covered the coals of the fire pit with sand, though it had long since cooled. The deputy packed their things and headed to shore in the canoe. Keeping to the river they traveled north, passing a cabin that in the past had been a popular spot for tourist to rent, though the last few years the area had attracted less and less visitors.  
The deputy continued hiking north, crossing the river only when getting to a sign for the Osprey cabin. Another cabin that used to be popular but like the others had seen a shortage of visitors over the last few years. There were hiking and ATV trails that lead to the main road and up the cliff. Rook had to study the whole area before coming on this mission, never imagining the information would have been so crucial to survival. The deputy was constantly watching footage of the cult too, right up until it cut out in the helicopter. Always working to get information, at least when their brain was sober and clear. The bliss really had a way of knocking out those little important things, like retaining details, and questioning orders.  
On their way to the trail they noticed a civilian camping, Rook stayed low and made a wide circle around them, not wanting to be recognized at all. It had gotten light out by then, Rook stumbled across a couple ATV’s not too far from the camp. These people left their keys in every vehicle, they probably did it to move out faster, but the deputy always let out a noise of disbelief when they saw the keys nearby or in the ignition. Nobody in this area took their keys with them. To be fair most stolen vehicles end up returned the next day, most with a tank of gas. Apparently in this area if you stole someone’s car for the night you returned it ASAP with a full tank of gas and that was usually that.  
They started up one of the small vehicles and headed up the trail. They finally crossed the main road and headed north into the trails just after the road curved east. Finally, the deputy was getting closer to their destination. A different cabin, up by a small lake that fed this river, one that was occasionally stocked with supplied from and for the Whitetails.   
Just east of Snowshoe Lake, was a little cabin made of large rectangular stones, there were animal skins decorating the walls, and a large beehive close to the entrance. Inside was cramped, a table with a bench, and a fireplace was accessible, but the only window was boarded up and there was a pile of stuff off to one side, including some dark, large, wooden boxes. It was marked as a safe space on one of the maps in the wolf den.  
Rook got to work on the mess in the corner, moving forward some of the larger boxes and clearing up some broken pieces of furniture. They spent time bringing the mess forward and creating a small space on the floor behind it. They used a few pieces of old clothing hanging from a broken chair to cover the entrance to their little nest. When Rook crawled in with a blanket, they felt snug yet secure, hidden away. They suddenly recalled hiding from the bull in the haystack, only here it wasn’t a bull, but a great bear of a man Jacob Seed.  
Inside some of the boxes were traps, both live and kill traps. A lot of them were handmade, some out of forest materials and some out of recycled parts Rook studied them, trying to figure out how they were put together and worked so they could use them, and maybe eventually make some. One box had different fishing net traps as well, but these looked broken, or ripped, no matter, they had a fishing rod with them. Rook took a few traps out that looked to be the right size for rabbits. Rook was a much better hunter since having Jacob’s personal brand of training. They didn’t hesitate at all like they used to. After Jacob’s training, hunting deer was almost fun, but that buzz wore off rather quickly. Rook still wanted to train.  
That should be more upsetting.  
They went out and set up a few traps and headed toward the water. Heading to the edge of the lake and casting their line. Once they moved to the spot where they saw fish jumping it did not take very long to hook a trout of decent size. They sliced it opened and cleaned it out with the river water and patted it dry. Rook cured that fish and one more in salt, covering them completely and storing them in a recently cleaned out box that was making up part of the messy façade covering the small nest of blankets and a rolled-up sweatshirt for a pillow. From most angles all it looked like was a large mess, which was exactly what the deputy wanted. In Jacob’s territory the deputy just could not sleep on a bed, exposed. Hiding under the mess felt better, down low and out of the way.  
Kind of like a dog, right?  
The last thought came unbidden, and the frustrated Rook tried to escape it by checking on the traps. All of the bait was gone, but none of the traps had caught anything. One trap had apparently never sprung, and upon closer inspection, Rook found they had accidently left some kind of safety trigger latched. When they unlatched it the kill bar snapped down on their fingers, it was painful and sharp, and they let out a yell before managing to quiet themselves. In the distance they heard a wolf howl, and another, not quite as distant return the mournful call. The deputy walked back to the cabin with the last trap, not wanting to stay out in the open any longer. They wouldn’t quite admit to themselves that their pace was noticeably quicker on the way back.  
They crawled into their bed space and sighed, and for the first time since they left Fall’s End, they turned on their radio. It stayed somewhat quiet for about a day. Rook wasn’t sure if they needed to change the salt or not on the fish or just leave it alone. They were confident when they had first carried out the task, but given time to think that confidence waned, making room for doubt. They were looking at the fish trying to make up their mind when the radio crackled to life. Dutch was asking for a status update.  
“Hey kid, I know you are still out there because John is still sending people to shake up Holland Valley, but shit, kid, I don’t know where you went. Let me know if you’re ok, deputy.”  
Rook sighed and picked up their radio, pressing the button. “I’m fine Dutch, just, not in the mood for John’s shit.” There was a moment or two of nothing and then Dutch’s laughter came through the radio.  
“Aren’t we all, Kid?” Rook couldn’t help but smile at the man’s mirth, it made things feel a little less intense. “OK, look…you’d better keep in touch. You hear? No more going off the grid, unless something is wrong, understand?”  
“I’m sorry for scaring you. I am practicing being extra stealthy. That means having the radio turned off sometimes. I will check in every couple of days, I promise. Ok?...Dutch…?..........Ok Dutch?”  
A disgruntled sigh. “Ok, just make sure to check in, and let me know if you need anything. Dutch out.” Rook decided to freshen the salt on the fish, and after that task was over they went out to bathe in the lake. Afterward they felt clearer headed. The itch in the back of their mind was still there but much quieter. They went inside and ate a can of soup and some jerky they found in a Whitetail stash box. Then the deputy radioed the Wolves Den. There were a series of inane passcodes and key phrases, and even then, they only let Rook leave a message. ‘I am in the area, need any help?.’ Ten minuets later Rook’s radio was coming to life again. This time Eli’s voice came through loud and clear.  
“There you are. Been trying to track you down, deputy.” The deputy felt a bit ashamed for having run, but their previous experiences with Jacob had left a huge impact, even now there were undeniable symptoms from the ordeal. “Sorry about all the passcodes, Tammy’s new idea.”  
“Look, I’ll get right to it. I know what you did down south. You got John and the Father thinking twice now, And that’s good for us. We’re bleeding bodies down here. No two ways about it. I don’t know if we’ll be able to hold out more than a week at this rate. Times are desperate to say the least. I’m trying to get some foot holds back so I sent a handful of whitetails out to sabotage the visitors center.”   
The deputy felt cold at the thought of facing Jacob’s people and getting captured again. “The cult has been using it as a depot for that Bliss shit. But our guys walked right into a fucking trap. They’ve been taken hostage and we’re up against the clock.”   
‘Watch your time’   
“If I just send another group in here we risk losing everything. But you…you’re something that cult ain’t expecting. You’re the only one I got around here that can handle this Dep. The only one I can trust to handle this.  
‘Only you’  
“I’m counting on you. You’ll need to go in quiet…cult gets wind that you’re around their liable to kill our people. Get our people back Dep. Good luck.”  
‘Only You’  
Fuck.  
“Ok Eli, let’s see what I can do.”  
‘Only You’  
Fuck.  
Ok, this was just training. Just like training, go in. Cull the herd. Watch your time. Sacrifice. Keep moving and shoot.  
Rook headed to the wolf’s den first, collecting supplies, guns, med kits and ammo, then straight to the visitor’s center, it was just about dark by then. When the deputy got close their radio came to life with a whispering Eli. “Dep, its Eli, I got eyes on you. Rigged this whole mountain with cameras. The centers up ahead and crawling with Peggie’s, be careful.” Rook headed into the cover of the trees, listening for the sounds of people ahead. Did Jacob have cameras rigged up around the mountains too?   
“Like I said before, if they spot you, they’ll kill our people so keep out of sight. There’s a drainpipe up ahead you can use to sneak up on them.” True to his word, there was a drainpipe, Rook crouched down and entered, finding the discarded body of a civilian on the other side, and hearing the low murmur of voices ahead. The deputy didn’t have time to ID the body, but they did make a note of where it was. No time to do actual police work, just this guerrilla warfare.  
There were a few guards outside, but they were spread out enough that the deputy was able to take them out relatively silently. Dragging their bodies behind crates and away from the main paths around the center. Most went down quickly, they were not paying a lot of attention to their surroundings, just lounging easily after an assumed victory.  
‘Sacrifice the weak.’   
Automatic fire took out two guards inside over the hostages. One ran out the door but was taken out by a sniper hanging back and out of sight per Eli’s orders. The hostages were mostly ok, but all of them had some amount of bliss in their system, they were woozy and unstable, some still stubbornly trying to get up and go. “There were more of us, they took some of us to Devil’s drop. You got to help them, we need to get there now!” Rook steadied the man to keep him from falling.  
“Devil’s Drop, you got to get to Devil’s drop!” Another man stepped forward. “We can’t go, we are not in fighting condition.” He said the second part pointedly at the first man, who was beginning to push forward again until the other had spoken up.  
“I’ll go. Stay here, help is coming in to get you. Tell them what you told me but stay here and don’t move.” The deputy left and took one of the vehicles. Eli gave directions and the deputy was on their way to the place known as Devil’s Drop. Though when they got close they turned off their lights and drove in slowly. Stopping the truck down the road from the mouth of the tunnel before stealthily going in, while keeping an eye and ear out for any cultist inside the tunnel. There was one, but rook had the luck of approaching from behind, and they still had their knife on them. The deputy eagerly snuck forward to land a killing blow. This was going to be easy.  
Rookie tripped over what will only ever be described hereafter as ‘the mother fucking’ piece of rebar, and the cultist turned wielding a baseball bat. It came down fast, wailing the deputy in the shoulder as they rolled to the side. The deputy tried to use the momentum from the fall to roll forward and grab the cultist by the legs but missed and only managed to grab one leg. Instead Rook took the knife and sliced it across the back of his knee, managing to get in deep. Down went the Peggy, with an animalesque yell.  
‘You can do better’  
Rook unholstered their pistol while the man was still yowling and preoccupied with his wound. Dep shot the cultist until he was quiet and unmoving. The sounds had attracted one of the other cult members from the drop’s edge. He came running in but wasn’t expecting the deputy to train their weapon on them and fire. This time the target went down in one well aimed shot to the head. Rook’s shoulder was aching from the earlier blow.  
‘Excellent’  
Stop it.  
The other cultists were panicking now, Rook put the pistol back in the hip holster and unbuttoned the rifle holster. When the deputy stepped out they could see both hostages were bound and kneeling, but the cultists had been up and ready. Inhaling deeply the deputy let their thoughts fall away, allowing this moment to feel like training they forgot their pain and fired. Automatic gunfire sprayed in a wide sweep keeping the level chest high. One Peggy went down, but the other had tried do dive out of the way, he was unbalanced, and the deputy stepped up quickly and shoved his body over the ledge. There were two other targets, but they were unmoving, bound.  
Not targets. People. Whitetails. My people.  
Rook untied the two grateful whitetails, checking them over for wounds. A rumble of noise could be heard, and they readied for another fight, getting behind cement barrios and loading their weapons. The fight never occurred however, the Whitetail relief had finally shown up. Riflemen leaning out the window looking for targets. They arrived and checked everyone over quickly, not even standing around to talk, they evacuated in different directions.   
When they traveled they took different routes to different safe areas, and then again to a nearby camp. Trying to reduce the risk of being followed by one of Jacob’s hunters or lead a scent trail for the judges to find. They camped in tents and occasionally in the look out towers. Checking the area for signs of people, and trail cams. Eventually they made it back to the Wolves Den and a grateful Eli.  
“Everyone’s accounted for. That’s the whitetail way dep, helping us take care of our own is going to have a big impact on our moral. Maybe even get some more folks to join up too. Shit I knew Tammy was wrong about you. Congratulations, you’re one of us now.” Eli beamed proudly and for the first time in a while the deputy was keenly aware of the itch in the back of their mind. Something they need to do.  
“I’ve got plenty of work and need help if you want a job. Just let me know.”  
“Those men,” Rook began, somewhat suddenly. “Are they ok? Did Jacob…. Did they… were they trained?” The deputy looked away from Eli, it was difficult to bring up the training, even worse with someone who understood what it did to a person. Dep didn’t want Eli to know the how deep it ran, though they knew they should say something.   
“No, none of them went through Jacob’s brain melting crap. They’re lucky.” Rook made a noise of agreement, mind lost in thought. “Hey, Deputy, you’re ok. I’ve seen you, I know you. You’re going to be ok. You’re getting through this, you’re fighting. You’re one of us Dep, A Whitetail.” Eli spoke earnestly, and Rook relaxed a little. Maybe he was right. Keep fighting. Always keep fighting.  
‘Keep hunting’  
“I’ll be by in a bit Eli, I might take you up on those offers for work.” Eli nodded, only a small amount of disappointment showing on his face. Eli wanted the deputy to stay, but he was wise enough not to push the issue at the moment. The deputy departed, taking a long route that left them sleeping outside one night, but under a cozy log covered in leaves and pine needles, not likely to be found. They were listening to the sounds of the birds and small creatures as they moved around them.  
The forest alive and calm, the deputy could make out the soft sound of deer somewhere behind the trees and turkey calls beyond that. There were a lot of signs for deer in the area, prints in the ground as well as scat here or there. The deputy made a mental note of where they thought they were, so they could come back and hunt.  
The next morning Rook got up and shook themselves free of the leaves, dirt and insects the had acquired during their sleep. This was still more comfortable than one of those steel cages. As if the man knew Rook was thinking of him and Jacob’s voice rang through the radio startling the deputy. “Deputy, you’ve got some training to do. Enjoy the rest of your little hike. You’ll be with me soon.” Rook’s chest immediately tightened, their heart beating faster, eyes scanning the area for a place to hide.  
Dutch’s voice came over the radio second later. Cutting into the silence again. “Aw Shit. He’s coming for you again kid. You’d better be careful; those hunters could be anywhere.” Why the hell was Dutch always listening to the radio anyway?  
It wasn’t too hot luckily, and the trees offered more than enough shade that the deputy was making good time, constantly scanning the surrounding area for life. It was quiet, the light shone through the trees and the deputy was sure they were less than an hour’s walk from the lake where their little cabin was. The deputy stopped and listened to the silence. The creatures had stopped foraging on the forest floor and even the chirping of birds was absent.  
There were no sounds, except the sound of the deputy trying not to make a sound. Hoping to at least obscure themselves with the bushes and undergrowth of the forest. The silence sat heavy in the air for a moment, Rook withdrawing their rifle, trying to move slowly. It wasn’t supposed to be this quiet. Animals only ever get quiet like this when there were predators in the area.  
The deputy shivered, even though it was hot, their skin was suddenly goosebumps and they felt dizzy. There was a noise, not far away, it sounded like music, familiar, just kind of far. Their vision was going red, they needed to get closer to the music, so they could hear it for what it was, and know what it needed of the deputy. They put their weapons away and headed toward the sound. They told themselves it was to move more stealthily before they moved to get closer to the sound.  
After a while the deputy had forgotten to be quiet, or stealthy, that wasn’t their mission right now. Get to the music, and they almost did, but when they stumbled into the grassy area, where the music was playing clearly, Jacob suddenly turned off the speaker and leaned against a tree, looking relaxed.  
It took a moment for the deputy to convince themselves not to kneel right away. Jacob Seed was dangerous.  
Sir hasn’t commanded me to kneel yet.  
Fuck.  
Rook shook their head, trying to remember how to think. “Your head finally clearing up?” Jacob asked sardonically before continuing casually. “Yeah, it always takes a little bit, but you’ll get there.” Rook’s mind was sharper now, no bliss and now no music to cloud their mind. Though still a strong urge to please the eldest Seed lingered somewhere down in the bottom of their chest. Or maybe it was the back of their neck, somewhere Rook couldn’t place nor tame or push away.  
Fuck. Please just don’t. Please Sir…..   
“Pup, you in there? Are you listening to me? Eyes on me. Now.” Rooks gazed moved immediately at Jacob’s sterner tone. Complying with the man’s wishes was becoming too easy for the deputy. It felt safer to obey.  
Crap, did Jacob say something, order something. Wait no, this wasn’t training, they were still free….right? OK maybe they were totally caught, but they hadn’t given in, not yet, right?  
The deputy shook their head again, once more attempting to clear their mind, they might still have a chance to get away. “Pup, Speak.” Jacob commanded sharply.  
“Yes Si s…So Jacob, you..uh… um…” The deputy trailed off, trying to think of something to say, anything that wasn’t ‘Yes Sir’.   
“Are there…any…? Do you like things?”  
“Good try, Pup.” Jacob chuckled as he pat his leg and whistled. “If you come to me now, I’ll let you have water every day that you are perfectly obedient while I have you.” There was one of Jacob’s chosen in the woods behind the Seed. That woman chose that particular moment to step out where the deputy could see making it obvious that Rook was surrounded. Obedience was the best course of action for survival. Once again Rook tucked away their pride, pushing it just beyond reach in the bottom of their mind. The deputy found it much easier to do this time. This wasn’t so bad when Rook was given the chance to do well, follow commands and stand out. This was once such chance.  
Letting out a small sigh of defeat the deputy knelt, careful of the sticks and rocks and began crawling toward the large redhead. They were trying not to get hurt on the forest floor, but a teasingly casual Jacob quipped. “Watch your time,” Suddenly the deputy was moving a faster. Motivated and focused, and they found it much easier to continue. The sticks were not so bad, and the few sharp rocks did not break the skin. The deputy made it right up to Jacob’s feet, managing not to crash into his legs this time.  
“Such a wise little puppy I own.” Rook flushed at those words. Biting back the urge to defy and correct Jacob. Nobody owned this deputy. The deputy huffed a little but closed their eyes for a second and took a deep breath. This isn’t me, this is just something I am to survive. Jacob owns this. I don’t care. That’s fine with me. “You’ve accepted that you must obey. And in that acceptance comes clarity. This is an opportunity, Pup. This might not be something you want.”  
No Kidding.  
“This is something you have to do. To survive. This is a test. You must be strong enough to survive the test.” Jacob’s large hands took Rook’s face and gently rubbed with his fingertips, all the way down both cheeks, and then massaging the deputy’s ears. Rook’s eye’s closed and small tears began to surface from the corners as they let out a small defeated whimper.   
“You won’t have to think, act or feel like a person, you would only exist to fulfil your purpose, and you would always be doing just that. Would you like that?” Rook gave a small nod before pushing their face into Jacob’s free hand shamefully. Rookie could blame the bliss this way, it wasn’t a choice they were making, it was the bliss in their mind.  
There was a sharp pain in their back and everything went hazy and brilliant. The deputy nuzzled into Jacob’s hand, whimpering pleading for reassurance. The eldest Seed reached down and ran his fingers through the deputy’s scalp. Jacob was the most comforting thing in the world in that moment. Everything went dark for a while when the Rook collapsed on Jacobs feet. The bliss dart taking its full effect.  
Rook remembered a diluted mess of fever dreams and hallucinations when they woke up. It was hot and humid but there was a small bowl of water on the floor, the deputy bushed off the hay they were lying on and crawled over to the water. They wanted to pick it up and hold it to their lips, which were dry, a side effect of the bliss, or maybe they had slept longer than they thought they did.  
One of the nearby guard’s noticed Rook had awoken and was eyeing the water. The Peggy walked over, whistling to get the deputy’s attention. She pointed at the water. “Jacob says; you may.” The woman walked away to talk to someone on the other side of the yard. She didn’t seem that interested in what the deputy was doing after they woke up.  
They had given in so easily to Jacob’s offer for them to surrender it made them feel humiliated and weak. Wanting to drink upright, like a person, if only in protest, if only to feel like they had done something other than just give up. Rook let out a frustrated growl. They could try something, but the water and the hay were new and the deputy didn’t want to lose what little they had gained they were almost proud of having earned it. Letting out a sigh of frustration the deputy lowered their head and drank the water in deliberate slow laps.  
Survival. The deputy took a deep breath in between each lap and focused on the coolness of the water in their mouth before swallowing. Feeling the bottom of the cage beneath their hands and knees and the heat of the humid air around them. Allowing each drink of water to also become a moment to breathe. Survival was the most important thing, and pride could be put away for the sake of survival. Besides, some of this wasn’t even that bad.  
Rook was given water every morning, no more than a bowl, they always drank all of it in one sitting. Though the deputy wanted to save it for later, they knew it would evaporate or worse, be taken away. Rook didn’t want to risk leaving any behind. For a few days, it was just this routine of waking up to that awful noise, being given water when the sermons eventually came over the loud speaker and waiting. No food and no Jacob, which also seemed to equate to no chance to earn food either. There wasn’t even any training, just Jacob’s voice over the loud speaker from time to time instead of Joseph’s. Rook was beginning to pray for their voices, their sermons and words were the only peaceful times during the day, and honestly not that bad to listen to, not compared to this.  
“The animal was born with inherent traits, some were good some were bad. And inside that mind is a cluttered diluted mess. Too many options too many weaknesses.” Inside Rook’s mind also felt cluttered and given how easily they kept giving in too Jacob, even for survivals sake, Rook was willing to bet it was diluted too.  
Soon Rook was getting restless. The deputy tried to pass the time by doing sit ups, they began first with pushups, but their shoulder was aching. A dull pain they didn’t want to irritate. Instead they settled on exercises that focused on other areas of the but most things eventually tired Rook out or aggravated their shoulder. They resolved to work in small amounts each day, building strength and endurance.  
Still even with this new routine the deputy was getting frustrated and then too hungry to exercise. They curled up on the hay, which they were considering eating. Putting a piece in their mouth and chewing experimentally. It took long time to chew it before it was soft enough to swallow. It was not ideal. They heard the normal sounds of boots on gravel, but one fell a little heavier, Rook uncurled to investigate and moved forward as soon as they saw who had come in.  
Jacob was walking into the yard, talking to a cultist and looking over a clipboard and handing it back to his follower. Rook leaned against their bars, eyeing the eldest Seed. Pratt was scurrying behind him, in his usual submissive fashion. When Jacob snapped and pointed he went into a shed and came out with a chair. Other than that, he never strayed more than a few feet from Jacob, carrying the chair and stopping when the Seed stopped and moving when he moved.  
Eventually Jacob turned and headed towards the cages where the deputy was being held. Jacob’s eyes glanced over the deputy and a smile played on his lips. “You look like an exited little Pup.” Rook didn’t realize until that moment that they were pressed up against the bars to get closer to the man. “Peaches, the door.” Pratt set the chair down in front of the cage and opened the door of the deputy’s cage and stepped back out of the way.  
Jacob sat down, patting his knee. “Heel.” Immediately the rook crawled forward, putting their head on the toe of Jacob’s boot. “Peaches get broth ready for the rest.”   
“Yes Sir.” Pratt moved to get the bowls and cans of broth and Jacob reached down and ran his fingers across Rook’s scalp. Moving his hand down to the deputy’s chin, Jacob moved Rook’s head until it was tilted up and they were nearly eye to eye. Jacob was studying the deputy’s face, something that made them fidget nervously. Jacob reached forward and pulled something long off Rook’s chin. A piece of hay with a chewed-up end.  
“Were you eating your bed?” Rook opened their mouth and closed it, settling on a small but silent nod. At Jacob’s beckoning Pratt brought him one of the broth bowls before going back to feeding the others. Jacob held it up below the deputy’s chin level but still off the ground in front of him. “You may.”  
The deputy learned forward, with their head between Jacob’s knees slurping the broth, slowly, taking the time to breathe. Rook was sure Jacob was going to take the broth away, but he didn’t. Rook was actually sticking their face and head into the bowl to finish when Jacob finally pulled the bowl away. The deputy’s head followed it for a moment but fingers on the back of their head curled into their hair and yanked them back up.  
“You only eat when I allow it.” Rook whimpered but put up no further protest and Jacob’s fingers lingered in their scalp. “Heel.” Rook’s head lowered and stayed near Jacob’s boot while he gave his lecture to the men in the cages. Afterward those who crawled out and stayed calm were given permission to drink broth from their bowl.  
Once the commotion was over the deputy heard a sharply toned “Heel.” They immediately brought their head back to Jacobs toe. The rest of the lecture seemed to be on culling the herd efficiently and quickly. Rook could only half pay attention, as Jacob seemed fond of moving around when the deputy was heeling. After the sermon was over, Jacob walked around to the other side of the building, past the kennels, which were kept cleaner than the cages Rook was accustomed too. There was another set of human pens on the other side of the building. These people were screaming, fighting against the bars, much more feral than the tamed people Rook was used to seeing in Jacob’s camp.  
Jacob’s sermon was interrupted three times with little reaction from the soldier, but after a fourth time a that resulted in body being dragged out of the area the group seemed to settle down. Rook just stayed by Jacob’s heel most of these people didn’t notice them, but they did seem to notice Pratt.  
“Deputy Pratt, C’mon Pratt over here. You let me off once, let me out of here.” The guy looked like a junkie that Rook had seen booked earlier this year, heroine if the deputy was remembering correctly. His mother was a lawyer, and he was always getting off on technicalities. Rook lagged when Jacob began moving again and Jacobs boot came down, pressing their hand painfully into the gravel. The deputy resolved to pay more attention to Jacob and less to anything else.   
Two different lives let’s keep them that way.  
“Pup, stand up.” When the deputy obeyed Jacob continued. “Good. Today, you’re going to focus on accuracy. You’ll find it much better if you let go of time, slow down and aim.” Jacob gave a signal and a small bliss dart was suddenly sending shooting pain into the Rook’s healing shoulder. It wasn’t as huge as the darts Rook was getting used to, that knocked them out, but it was painful and sharp and bled when they instinctively pulled it out.  
The rookie blacked out, it didn’t seem like it was for very long and they were running forward with a gun in their hand, ducking behind a crate and slowly aiming for the target ahead of them. The target kept moving, but only side to side, and not very far. The deputy could hear the music swirling in the back of their mind. This was so much easier than having to think about it. Jacob’s voice seemed to purr in the background of the deputy’s mind.  
“Good. Watch your aim.” Rook lined up the shot, the target was moving in a slightly erratic pattern, but the deputy took a deep breath. Watching, waiting, the eyes would dart left, then the body, then the arms would point down before the target would drop. Just pay attention, it’s going to tire out soon. Rook was careful, lined up the shot.  
“Good, you can do better.” Rook would do better, had too. That voice when pleased was the most rewarding sound, so much better than the euphoric music. Everything else was drowned out by the music or the red at the edges of their vision, but Jacob’s voice rang true. Just this. Do better. Train more. Ignore any pains, take your time and aim true.  
‘Excellent.’  
When it was over Rook was still wired, the song had faded but the urges to hunt were biting at the back of their mind. “Pup, you’re going to take this bow and arrow and go hunting for me. I want you to kill a deer and bring home the meat. If you bring home a big enough kill, I’ll allow you to eat a bowl by my feet. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”  
Jacob’s voice curled against the folds of Rook’s mind like smoky velvet, and the deputy could only nod and say, “Please Sir.” Drooling with anticipation at the thought of being worthy to feed at Jacob’s feet. Jacob pointed to two location in the map that rook could go. The deputy chose the one furthest to the west and gathered basic supplies. The deputy took the rifle and grabbed their radio from a cultist who also offered the keys to an ATV from the parking lot. The rookie drove into the woods and set up a quiet space near telltale signs of grazing deer. It was only first light, so Rook settled in, ready to wait out their prey.  
The deputy was focused on staying quiet while they listened for the sounds of nearby animals. Squirrels, chipmunks and even a turkey called out in the distance. After some time, a group of deer appeared in the rook’s sight. Females, quiet but excited, it would be easy for rook to pick off one of these younger ones, but they were all small, and Rook was looking for a more sustainable target they skipped through the forest unaware of the danger they could have been in.  
Not too long after a large male with thick set of antlers stepped into the nearby clearing, walking carefully looking around as if it could sense a predator’s eyes on it. It was cautious and took a long time to look around before stepping again even more slowly. This one was their leader. The deputy took careful aim of the whitetail’s head, lining up the shot and reading the deer’s posture, a moment later its body fell.  
The whitetail leader was dead. Rook blinked for a moment, wondering where they were. Did the music stop playing? This was not the training room, this was……outside? What were they doing?   
Kill the Whitetail Leader. Cull the herd. Rook glanced up seeing the body of the deer, confirming that it was just that and not something or someone else. Rook stood up, their vision blurred for a moment but when they were steady they headed away, just away from where they were and where they had been.  
It could have just been over an hour into their walk when the radio came back to life, Jacob’s voice sending ripples of something, it tasted mostly like fear, all the way down Rook’s back. “Deputy, are you trying to get away? I’m hurt. The right choice is to turn around and come back now. The consequences will be much less severe.” Jacob’s voice lost its playful edge quickly and the rookie was more than a little nervous now that they were sure Jacob knew they were running.  
The deputy cringed, but only for a moment. This wasn’t the time to be meek and submissive. If they could get away, none of Jacob’s consequences would matter. Jacob’s voice came through again, this time light, and easier to listen too. “Only you can make all this world seem right…. Only you can make the darkness bright. Only-“ The deputy threw their radio, and began running again. Their heart hammered in their chest, and their vision was blurry, and seemed to go a bit red for a moment.  
Rook was sure they heard the hunters and a low growl behind them. Every time they slowed down they thought they could hear it again. It was always lurking just on the edge of the deputy’s hearing. Never sure how far away or close it was. They couldn’t rest, they had to keep moving. Though the woods for a few hours, further west, up hills and finally getting close to an area they knew much better. The area around Snowshoe lake and the cabin. An area which Rook instinctively headed for, knowing it could offer a home terrain advantage.  
Rook slid in and around the paths of this space more quickly and nimbly than they were traveling before. Able to get much further ahead of the noises and figure out where it was coming from. Rook managed to get to the cabin, they estimated they had twenty minutes before Jacob’s men were going to make it this far. It was almost dark, they might be able to swim into the lake and hide by keeping low, somewhere in the center away from the shore. There was something about swimming in the dark that never sat well with the deputy though.  
The deputy headed inside and dove under the small pile of things that hid the small nest like bed. They curled up and took deep breaths. For the next twenty or so minutes they focused on different breathing exercises to calm themselves. The deputy didn’t have an escape plan after this, just hope the hunters would overlook the freaking bed. It was stupid, but they were panicked they didn’t really know where to go, and they couldn’t quite bring themselves to keep running. Just hide.  
The hunters entered slowly, it was small room and with the pile of things they really couldn’t move that much. Maybe they would pass by Rook. The deputy had kept the cabin cluttered and messy to make it easier to overlook the small hidden cache of pillows and blankets. The first one came all the way in, looking around the old cabin, it was stuffed and disorganized and made it hard to move in the small space. The second began to come in but turned to see the source of a yell from outside. The hunters all went outside, and Rook heard cursing. The sound of the hunters yelling about bees was getting a bit further. Rook wanted to crawl out and peek out, but the deputy could still hear the murmur of their voices. They were not going far, despite the misfortune with the hive.  
There was an angry humming sound coming from the wall where the bee’s nest usually quietly rested on the other side. The third hunter must have disturbed the nest and upset its occupants. A few angry bees flew around the inside of the cabin, the door must have been left open. It was another twenty or so minutes before the deputy heard any other sounds besides a the few bee’s trying to find their way back home.  
Muffled speaking and responses and footsteps moving purposefully toward the cabin. There was something about the way they hit the ground, heavy and wit ha thud that set Rook’s teeth on edge.  
“We’re sure Sir, but after the bees were disturbed we searched the wider area while there was still light. We don’t think there are others here,” After a moment the voice continued nervously. “We were going to go back in once the hive settled down, but you got here first Sir.” There was a grunt in response and the door fully opened.   
A large beam from a flashlight slowly moved around the cabin. Settling on Rooks pile of boxes hiding their nest. A second hunter’s flashlight revealed what the deputy already knew. Jacob Seed was standing not three feet away from them. Rook could see his familiar boots from where they were hiding, and a nervous little part in the back of their mind wanted badly to put their head on the toe of the closest boot. Time stretched by, and for a moment, the deputy believed that Jacob had not seen them. “Pup, how long are you going to keep thinking I don’t see you there?”  
Fuck.  
“You can come out the easy way right now, or you can regret it.” The rookie stayed still, unmoving, maybe Jacob couldn’t move the pile, maybe he didn’t really see them and was just guessing. Jacob sighed and walked out with his hunters. Rook was confused, but only for a moment before the bottle hit the floor in a loud crash, and fire spread through the room before the deputy could blink. They were out of their little hole in an instant, throwing their body above the flames and through the door, crashing to the ground outside and rolling in the dirt.  
“Shit. SHIT. SHIT!” The deputy’s hands and knees that got it the worst, in their haste and panic to get out of the flames they had crawled through burning glass at one point, not for very long, but they were bleeding, and burnt lying in the dirt. Hair singed off in places and coughing and gasping for a few moments trying to crawl away from the flaming cabin.  
The large redhead hoisted the deputy up and forced them to face the blaze, pushing them toward the heat and causing their painful burns to heat up. This had the deputy shaking their head quickly, whimpering a softly and begging under their breath.  
“Please, no Sir. No Sir!” Rook was panicking now, and actively fighting to get away from the flames that were quickly overtaking the cabin. Pressing back into the large body behind them. Rook had never actually tried to fight Jacob before, opting for passive submission while seeking opportunities to escape. The deputy was trained in some basic martial arts, hand to hand training and takedowns. Even while panicking they were using their mind, trying to use any advantage possible to squirm out of this monster’s claws. Nothing was working.   
“Do I have your attention now?” The deputy couldn’t move an inch and began to realize pleasing Jacob was the only method of survival. It was difficult to stop trying to get away, but the deputy managed to still. Rook found themselves pressed against the large red head’s chest to hide from the heat. They nodded and stilled, murmuring a frightened “Yes Sir.” Hiding their face in Jacobs chest, cringing and clinging to his shirt the deputy shook. They were whimpering but trying to remain still despite the heat at their back. Jacob stood still for a moment longer but was satisfied and stepped back.  
“Call the fire choppers.” Jacob commanded the nearest Peggy. The deputy remained clinging to Jacob, sniffling in his chest until the man grabbed them by the back of their neck and pulled them back. Before Jacob could apply any kind of downward pressure Rook was already dropping down, head on Jacobs boot. “Heel.” They all backed away from the cabin and before long two or three helicopters flew by dumping water on the cabin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains Torture. Brainwashing and Conditioning. Use of Bliss injected by needle.  
> 

The area around the previously flaming cabin was soaked. The fire had been extinguished and then some for good measure. Though they had backed a good distance away from the cabin Rook was kneeling in inch deep receding water while Jacob radioed his people and handled the situation. The deputy couldn’t help but be impressed with the swift efficiently in which the cultist carried out the mission. Though they were unsure if it was because of the situation or because these people were Jacob’s that mission was carried out smoothly.  
Jacob had allowed the deputy to keep their head raised away from the water but as a compromise the Herald was standing on their hand. Every now and then his weight would shift, and deputy’s hand would throb painfully while they tried not to make too much noise. Once when they had cried out too loudly Jacob had turned and smacked their face before going back to directing his people. Jacob was in no mood for anything besides perfect obedience and Rook was focused only on his wishes.  
Eventually after most of the work was done, and the area was deemed safe Jacob walked over to a white van and opened the back. The grizzly of a man picked up the Deputy and tossed them onto the floor before getting in himself. A few other cultists jumped in and Rook squeezed back, sitting on the floor between Jacob’s knees, protected in a way. Who ever was driving was going too fast and Rook disguised their clinging to Jacob’s ankles by ducking down in a heeling position.  
The radio was turned on, and the chatter quieted when Joseph Seed’s voice resonated though the speakers. It seemed to be some kind of live sermon, and Rook spent the ride listening to the sermon, trying to focus on the words rather than the uncomfortable lurching being on the floor was causing, nor what awaited them once they returned. Though the driver did slow down once the sermon began. The word of Joseph Seed calmed his flock in a way that nothing else ever did.  
The deputy winched, the palms of their hands were both raw from cuts and burns, their knees were no longer bleeding but still ached. Hot burned areas of their skin were now beginning to make themselves known. Everything hurt or felt too hot and uncomfortable. It hurt when the van lurched to a stop and the deputy had to hold onto the floor and Jacob’s ankle.  
Running away was bad.  
The deputy followed Jacob out of the van, staying as close to his boot as possible without tripping up the Seed while he was moving. They made it inside, thought hallways, and down stairs, and then into a room. Jacob snapped his fingers to get the deputy’s attention and tapped the chair twice. Rook could see straps and remembered a chair like this one when they were first trained. They crawled up into the chair, unwilling to try standing all the way near Jacob.  
“Start with the leg straps.” Jacob’s voice was a growl. Unhappy, dismissive and no sharp playful edge that often resonated in his voice when he was being cruel. Jacob did not relish in disappointment and the deputy felt their stomach sinking. Jacob was not pleased. Rook grabbed the straps at their feet, working on their right leg first, buckling the strap so their leg had no give before turning to the other one.  
Disappointing Jacob was bad.  
Rook whimpered, they could strap their legs and around their torso, but they were unable to do their arms. Jacob was occupied, pulling something from a drawer on the other side of the room. There was only the counter Jacob was going through, a few chairs like Rook’s and a camera on a tripod in the front of the room that the deputy could see. The door they came in was still open and the floor was littered with bloody newspaper, cardboard, and scraps of cloth. On the cement walls were dark brown words; “You are meat” Was written in long dried blood on the wall.  
“You know Deputy, if it were up to me, you’d be dead a long time ago.” Jacob finally turned around, a syringe in hand, stepping up to the deputy before he continued. “But Joseph has other ideas…and he wants to talk to you. So that’s what you’re going to do. Don’t worry. You won’t be a disappointment by then; You’ll be obedient, and in that obedience, you will become worthy.”  
Jacob grabbed rook’s right arm causing them to flinch when he touched a burn. Jacob turned it, so he could position the needle. “You are not going to fight this.” Jacob held the deputy’s gaze before painfully squeezing their wrist. “Say it.”  
“I’m not going to fight this.”  
“You are not going to fight me.”  
Jacob was still squeezing the deputy’ arm, demanding instant obedience. “I am not going to fight you.”  
“You are weak.” Jacob squeezed again, to emphasize his point to the deputy.  
“I am weak.”  
“You are meat.”  
“I am meat.” Repeating after Jacob was easier when they didn’t think about the words.  
“You can’t fight me.” Another squeeze.  
“I can’t fight you.”  
Over and over, until the words became a mantra the deputy repeated on their own. Each squeeze from Jacob making them feel less and less able.  
“I am weak. I can’t fight you. I am meat. I am weak, I can’t fight you. I am meat. I am weak. I can’t fight you.” A small prick in their arm as the needle slid in, followed by a hot feeling up their arm. The drug did not feel like it hit the rookie too hard. Jacob squeezed their wrist when they stumbled and hesitated for a moment. The mantra continued.  
“I am weak. I can’t fight you. I am meat.” They wanted to wonder why Jacob hadn’t strapped in their hands, but they had to keep focusing on the words.  
“I am not strong enough.” Jacob moved their arms, so their wrists were crossed and pinned them to Rooks lap. He squeezed making sure Rook knew to continue the mantra while he held their gaze.  
“Why don’t you lift your arms?” The eldest Seed asked before squeezing Rook’s wrist, encouraging the mantra to flow.  
“I’m not strong enough.”  
“I am going to hurt you. What are you going to do when I do that, pup?” Squeeze.  
“I am weak. I can’t fight you.”  
“That’s right. Now, what does that make you?”  
“I am meat.”  
The deputy’s mind couldn’t function it was hazy and slowing down. Rook felt like they were losing their focus, but Jacob’s squeezes reminded them of what do say, even when they could only focus on a few words of his sentences.  
“I am weak. I can’t fight you. I am meat. I’m not strong enough.”  
Jacob moved away from the deputy for a moment, leaving them to cycle over and over. Jacob allowed and encouraged the deputy to continue for a while. Letting the bliss take full effect and the words to completely sink into the deputy’s mind. The eldest Seed grabbed a knife from the drawer and slowly made his way back to the deputy. Jacob didn’t hide the knife, but it took some time for the deputy to register it, they had gone through their loop twice, their eye slowly glazed when for a moment, they stuttered, their eyes focused on the knife in Jacob’s hand.  
In an instant Jacob was squeezing the deputy’s writs with their free hand. The words began again, and while their eyes were not as glazed over, they were more focused on their words. After a moment, with the bliss in their head they began to fully relax again, and Jacob pulled their hand out. He took the knife and quickly made a small slice on their arm.  
The deputy jumped at the pain, their mind clearing for a moment, trying to focus on what was harming them. Their arms jerked, hands wanting to defend but Jacob pulled their wrist and squeezed again.  
“You can’t fight me, you don’t know how.”  
“I can’t fight you, I don’t know how.”  
Rook put their hands back down. Breathing, and then almost immediately forgetting about the pain as their bliss drunk mind floated in half thoughts and partial memories. Jacob moved again, pulling them towards him and slicing again, but slower, catching the lip of the first cut, and lifting the skin. The rook jumped again but Jacob held them firmly and squeezed again.  
“You can’t fight me. You don’t know how.”  
“I can’t fight you. I don’t know how.”  
“You’re doing so much better now, Pup.” The large man soothed the deputy back down each time they jumped or winced. Humming all the while. Rook’s eyes closed and opened again. Jacob was much further up their arm. Their burns were less itchy, and the first cut Jacob had made days ago was beginning to heal over.  
How many times have we done this?  
The deputy’s head felt slow, and their eyes moved from side to side, the room seemed hazier than it did before. This was one of the times where they were alone. Forgotten. They felt sore all over and hot for a long time.  
Please let Jacob come back.  
The wait was terrible and cold was setting in. Rook felt a pestering feeling in their gut, gnawing at them, trying to get them to get up and do something about it. An inhuman growl came from somewhere below their chest, for a long time Rook didn’t move, afraid of whatever was in the room with them, growling away while their gut churned. “I’m not strong enough.” The words slipped out, an answer to Rook’s wandering mind.  
“That’s right. Perfect.”  
Jacob began peeling again. Rook held still, elated to have ben praised by Jacob. When they slowed their speech the squeeze on their wrist refocused their thoughts. Jacob worked like that, slowly for a while near Rook’s shoulder, while they bled. Rook did stutter, slur, and yell but would begin to focus back on the words even before Jacob squeezed. As if the sooner they could refocus on the words, the less they were aware of the patches of skin being stripped off their arms and body.  
Eventually the deputy was reduced to little more than whimpering and tears but stopped moving away from the eldest Seed, barely flinching when the knife flayed them. Still mumbling their words incoherently, the deputy couldn’t watch what was being done to them. They looked anywhere else or closed their eyes, trying to focus on the words they needed to say and nothing else. The deputy was grateful for the bliss swarming in and out of their mind, occasionally making the pain to foggy to feel. It was incredibly difficult to focus on anything and impossible to ignore the pain.  
There were moments when the room was very dark and quiet. Rook thought perhaps they had been left alone but then Jacob would be there again. The deputy felt like they were being carved into bits for hours. Their mind would clear for a moment and then something sharp, like a pinch somewhere. Haze. Fog. Bliss.  
Once again Jacob had begun humming to himself while he worked, and Rook felt the edges of their vision fade in and out to red. Something about the tune satiated Rook, they felt safe knowing they were doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing.  
The deputy’s sense of time had been demolished. They were thirsty, hungry, and sore all over, strips of flesh missing from both arms and legs. Fresh wounds and older healing over caked bloody wounds aching or cracking. Time only really moved when Jacob was in the room. When he was gone. Rook felt restless. It was motionless and empty without Jacob.  
Please come back.  
When the eldest Seed finally returned to the room the deputy was groaning in pain but made a small excited noise upon seeing him.  
“Unstrap your legs and heel.” The deputy blinked up at Jacob, up until this moment they didn’t remember having considered taking the straps off. Was it the bliss, or Jacob’s training that had kept them so unthinkingly helpless? Their hands and arms obeyed of course, and they were unstrapped, but remained in the chair. Had they been able to unstrap themselves all this time?  
Jacob pat his hand against his thigh and whistled. It hurt to move from the chair and crawl even the few feet to the eldest seed, but the deputy was happy to get out of the chair, and Jacob was the only source of food which was very scarce, so Rook was very eager to have a chance to obey.  
The deputy followed Jacob out the door and across the hall into a spartan bathroom. There was a square shower in one corner with an old tile floor, a toilet a cross from it and bars on the windows. Familiar and completely alien. That was how everything outside the room with the chair felt. Like nothing was real, or else it might vanish in an instant. Jacob seemed to be the only constant.  
Was life before that chair even real?  
Rooks head swam as they crawled into the room, but there was something off about the floor. One of the tiles had a dark brown crack which was widening at a rapid pace. The deputy felt a painful force hit their face before everything faded into black.


End file.
